Mageing Raphel
by Schwarz
Summary: When i was 4,I wanted to be a Poring. Bad idea.So when turned 5,I decided to be a Prince! Go on,laugh.Finally when I was 7 I decided that I would rather marry a Munak than be a Mage.Funny how I'm casting a spell now.
1. Prologue

"Raphel, you are destined to become a great wizard!" 

Yeah yeah whatever. Oh hi didnt see you here. In case you were wondering, my name is Raphel, as in Ra-Fell. Raphel Lucifal. Nice name isn't it? Well it sounds nicer than the name of that old fart sitting opposite me.

Now he's giving me a weird look. What? Am i supposed to look as if there was a Dark Lord in front of me? And does he expect me to jump into his arms, weeping and crying like a Poring on the edge of a Tsurugi, that I can't walk upon this path all by myself and I require all his guidance and support?

Oh that's what I was supposed to do.

Phedophile.

What a freak. He's hitting on a cute seven year old like me.

What's that? Only seven!? What do you mean by only seven!? I assure you I'm a very adorable seven year old. Even cuter than those pink blobs of jelly out there.Damn don't give me that look. Pfft, Poring lovers...

Hey where are you going? Come back! Fine let's fast forward to the time when i'm 15.

What? Still too young? Very well then. 16.

Damn you bishie loving freaks. 17 then.


	2. Of light spells and evil missions

As you can see I'm back again. What do you mean by so quickly? I assure you that you will be eagerly requesting for me to grace my presence upon you in no time.

"Raphel are you listening to me?"

Yes I'm listening. I always listen. I mean you can't stop listening can you? Either you're deaf or you're not. Now if you would ignore that blabbering fool in front of my. Hmm? You want to know his name? Believe me you're better off without knowing. Sigh you're persistent. Very well then. His name is Xavien. Don't go asking for his last name. It's not worth your time.

Yes back to me please. Thank you. Let me do a little introduction. I am the super genius Raphel. Now don't go asking the town people if they know who Raphel the super genius is. They'll laugh your ass off. Because in they're eyes I'm Raphel the dunce. You see I'm 17 (and a very bishie...is that what you people call it...one too) year old APPRENTICE mage. No I'm NOT a novice. I graduated from the academy at 14 for your information.

What? Three years and still an apprentice you say? Unfortunately. Or should i say fortunately. No no I'm not stupid. Don't ever call me that. You see, magic is nothing in my eyes. It's just a fancy display of fireworks. Mage are whimpering fools. Believe me, you should see them with aggressive monsters. Snicker. I loathe magic. Why? Let's just say it gives me the heebie jeebies.

"Raphel! Are you listening to me?"

Here we go again.

Grunt

"Very well, then let me see you cast that spell."

What spell? Oh that spell. Now how did it go again? Shrug.

"And Raphel says, let there be light" (1)

Hmm nothing happens. Xavien is twitching like a lunatic now. No not that kind of lunatic. Lunatic as in that ball of fluff.

"You did not listen to me!" He snaps. "It should be light come forth!"

"I was listening" I replied calmly. "I just wasn't playing attention"

Ooooh the look on his face was simply priceless.

"Let's do it again" Xavien sighed.Did I mention he looks as if there's a greatest general stuffed up his ass? I suppose it's my fault. Ooops. You don't get what I meant? Well then try to imagine having a a really big totem pole shoved up your ass.

Ouch

Now he's giving me another weird expression. Perhaps I shall advise him to visit a priest. That twitch of his is really getting out of hand. Oh right I was supposed to cast that spell. You know what? I think he's the reincarnation of a lunatic. Oh yeah the spell.

"Light come forth"

BOOM

Oops my bad the spell exploded. Literally. Luckily Geffen tower has destruction-be-gone wards around it. Meaning that nothing will be destroyed should a spell go wrong.

Xavien's gawking like a strangled peco peco now. What's his problem? It's not like I did that on purpose. Ok maybe so I did. Insert evil laughter here.

"You were supposed to concentrate! 17 years old and still an apprentice!!"

Blah blah blah blah.Now it's the time to practise hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. Don't worry, Xavien does that all the time. Ranting and raving like a lunatic. Aha! I don't mean that white fluff this time. Actually Xavien does look like a lunatic monster. What with his white hair and that twitching. You must be thinking that he's an old man now. Actually he's pretty young. Around 25 years of age. And yeah apparently he's some great and powerful wizard. Yawn.

Right back to where I was. What was I saying? I really should stop interrupting myself, if that can happen.AS I WAS SAYING,I refuse to be a mage. That's why I always fail the test on purpose. Whoops that was supposed to be a secret.

Fine since you know that, let me tell you another secret of mine. I never wanted to be a mage...ok that's pretty duh. When I was four, King Tristan the third... Or was it the fourth? These royalties have no creativity I tell you. Anyway he asked us what we wanted to be in future.Yeah and while all those dull kids went 'I want to be a mage and blow myself up, I want tobe a knight and protect the right' I had the greatest idea I've ever had in my four years of life. I was going to be something special, something loved by everybody! I told the king that I was going to be a Poring! And that was the proudest moment of my short life.

Mind you I wasn't amused at all when the king burst out laughing. And it was then when I learned that it is highly inappropriate and virtually impossible for a human to want to become something of another species.

So whenI was five I had another great idea. I was going to be a prince! Then I found out that there weren't anymore vacancies for princes when Tristan the fourth ( or maybe it was the fifth) was born. So much for a great idea.

And then when I was seven the old fart appeared and brought me to Geffen.And it was then when I decided that I'd rather marry a munak, or allow an Abysmal knight to trample all over me than be a mage.

"Now do you understand? Why is it so hard for you to cast a simple light spell?" Xavien demanded, looking as if he was going to have a coronary.

I glanced calmly back at him, resting my head lightly on my palm with my elbow propped up on the table,I pointed a finger at him and shouted," how dare you admonish me, vermin!"

Oh this is going to be great. I learned that phrase when I was reading Demon Diary, this totally cool book from Gonryun.

You know what, maybe that wasn't such a good idea after all. Xavien looks like he's going to Jupital Thunder me now.

Suddenly, as if the God of Clichés was glancing in my direction, the door swung open and a quivering mage stood at the doorway and bowed respectfully.

"Xavien sir, sorry to interrupt your lesson but Lord Ranef wishes to talk to Raphel" He said, trembling slightly at said wizard whose palm was crackling with electrical energy.

I smirked triumphantly at my mentor who glared hatefully at the mage.

"Very well" he sighed deeply.Now I almost feel sorry for tormenting him. Almost "Class is dismissed"

Half and hour later, I'm standing in front of the man who uprooted me from Prontera and into Geffen, with the smirked wiped off my face. Wiped as in totally gone, removed from the face of Rune-Midgard kingdom, leaving me doubting thatI could ever smile agaun.

"What do you mean by I have to deliver that...that thing to Prontera, old geezer!?" I demanded.

"It's not a thing, this, my boy is an Emperium, one of the rarest ores to ever exist." Lord Ranef replied patiently.

"Aren't these kind of things supposed to be done by the servants?"I asked again, pointing at Xavien who's trying not to ice wall me now.

After receiving suchdisturbing news, I find it absolutely fair to pass on some of my misery to someone else, for example, Xavien. Now Xavien is easy to piss off, However Lord Ranef tries to be patient with me, a poor widdle orphan boy.Since I've already told you two secrets of mine, I'll tell you another. I like to test his limits, most of the time he will give me a pained smile and ask me to return to my chambers. But sometimes I go over the edge. Like the time when I called that High Chancellor from Amatsu an old fart tohis face. Or that time I 'accidently' locked this very annoying mage in the Geffen Tower dungeons.

"Listen up boy. This is a gift to the Prontera royal family as a signof peace. If King Tristan does now receive this, it could mean war between Geffen and Prontera. Do you understand?" Lord Ranef said gravely, his pale green eyes boring right into my soul, as if he can see me plotting all the evil things that I'm going to do to him once this is over.

Sigh. It seems like there's no way I can wriggle out of this horrible situation now.

"Whatever. When do I leave?" I mutter grumpily while shooting Xavien an evil look. It must be his doing, that foul fiend.

"Tonight."

WHAT!?

---

(1) I know mages don't cast light spells, but bear with me. Can't have an apprentice mage casting a firebolt huh?  
(Raphel is not a novice but not yet a mage. Giggles)

A/N: Wahaha I finally completed this chapter. Aww don't get me wrong, I love Xavien. He's so cute. Squeals.Lols Raphel seems evil but he's actually a very nice guy (huggles)

Oh by the way pardon the spelling errors >. I'm using my uncle's computer which doesn't have Microsoft Words meaningI can't spell check this chapter.

To Kaori: Thanks for the review. I wasn't expecting anyone to review the first chapter. It's just a prologue. Anyway I hope this chapter is long enough. Oh but the next chapter will no longer be Raphel's POV


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